new teacher's sentiments...

At first I felt frustrated. I never imagined that the whole class will turn to be like that. I believed that I had enough practice inside the classroom. I had enough experience of handling students and presenting the lesson. But I was wrong. Things did not come up the way I expected things to happen.
It was Monday morning. It was the day of my demonstration teaching to fourth year high school students. I came to the school earlier although I am expecting that the class will not start on time because they still have their flag raising ceremony. The class was not just delayed for few minutes but even an hour. It happened that some colleges and institutions came to promote their school for the incoming college students. I had to wait patiently because I might not be given another opportunity by my resource teacher to have a demo.
I was supposed to start at 7:20 but the class started at 8:20. We used the time allotted for their second subject. I was quite nervous but I still manage to gather my confidence and stand before the class. Hei, I am an expert of this. I already did this many times inside our classroom. I kept telling myself.
I was wrong. It was a different thing to stand in front of a real high school class. I felt frustrated. I don’t know if they did not understand what I am teaching or because they really did not find the lesson interesting. My throat turned dry to convince the students to participate. I looked at my resource teacher sensing her reaction to what I am doing. I wanted to receive even a simple nod from her just to keep me going but she was busy looking at the rubrics I gave her earlier.
The lesson was finally done. Unlike the presentations I had in the mock demonstration teachings I experienced inside our college, I was not satisfied with this one. i felt like I was not an effective teacher.

finally... one lesson was done. one more. i know i will do better next time.
now... i am but a novice, soon... of course, i hope to be a real professional

:)